


The Talk

by PuppetMaster55



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Awkward Conversations, The Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 01:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4544100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppetMaster55/pseuds/PuppetMaster55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clockwork takes the initiative and educates Danny on ghost reproduction. </p><p>It's about as awkward as you think it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Talk

“Danny, we need to talk about sex.”

“Oh dear god.” Danny muttered to himself before turning to Clockwork with fear on his face. “Do we really have to talk about this _now_? You've got everyone I love – and Lancer – frozen _right next to you_ , and you want to talk about... that?”

Clockwork stared at Danny. “For the sake of argument, when would you rather we had this conversation?”

“I don't– I just– never?” As Clockwork continued his stare, Danny backtracked. “I just mean, I've already had this, uh, explained to me already. Babies and safety and diseases.  _So many_ diseases.” He shuddered in remembrance of the charts and hospital visits. “So. Never sound good to you? Sounds good to me. Never. We're agreed.”

“Danny.” Clockwork let out a put-upon sigh. “You know nothing about yourself. This cannot wait. Throughout this entire ordeal, you have followed the assumption that the 'Dark Danny' was your future self, ten years from this moment. It is not.”

Danny blinked, trying to keep up with what Clockwork was saying. “I don't... if he wasn't my future, then why did he say he was? Why do this, all of this?! What was he then?!”

“Your son.”

“I...” Danny opened his mouth, closed it, opened again. “My – my son?”

“Your son.”

“My... son.”

“Yes.”

“From... how far in the future again?”

“Ten years. That much, at least, was truth.”

“Ten years.” Danny blinked again, opened and closed his mouth again.

“Indeed.” Clockwork whirred and clicked as he, as a young babe, looked at the watches dotting his arms.

“My son. As in, actual flesh-and-blood son.”

“Ectoplasm. And yes.”

“My – my son. Ten years. And my... my  _son_ ?”

Clockwork let out another sigh. “Danny, let it sink in. There is a betting pool in place on how much longer this drags on, with twenty-three timelines carrying on indefinitely. Four of which lead to me leaving you without this talk. I suggest that you nod and ask the occasional question of me, from here on out, so I know my words aren't just circling around that head of yours.”

“I – that is a good plan, yes.” Danny dazedly nodded. “Just... how? Son, and ten years, and.... how?”

“Ghosts procreate – that means have sex to produce babies, Danny – differently than humans.” Clockwork spun his staff in the air, opening a portal.

“Oh god, not  _more_ real-life examples!” Danny cringed, and Clockwork rolled his eyes, letting out yet another exasperated sigh. 

“The only examples in this, you've already met.” Danny peeked out from between his arms.

“You mean... Box Lunch, daughter of Lunch Lady and Box Ghost?” His arms lowered completely. “Because ew. So much ew, you can't even.”

“She is but one product of core merging. SkulkTech is another.”

Danny froze, the implications sinking deep into his brain and sprouting roots and images that  _violated_ his mental processes. “Oh. I. Oh. Ew. Oh god. Oh ew. Ew ew ew ew ew. So much ew. Too much ew, too much. It's  _in my brain, oh god_ .” 

 

“Danny!” Clockwork swung his staff, smacking the half-ghost across the head and bringing an end to the dark spiral. “Core merging. You need to understand what it is.”

 

“Oh. Yeah. Um. Core merging. Babies.”

 

“Yes. Now, to understand core merging, you need to understand that all ghosts have a core. It is a center, a source of all life and everything that makes you  _you_ , or what makes me  _me_ . Without it, we are nothing. When it stops existing, so do we.”

 

Danny stepped through the portal when Clockwork gestured, and found himself at his house. “So ghosts can die, even though they're already dead?”

 

“Death is a human concept. Ghosts have no such concept. The word for what happens when a ghost's core stops existing, it doesn't exist.” Clockwork flicked his free hand, and Jack and Maddie moved into the kitchen and couch, where they were seated at the table. “But ghosts have a core. This is the source of their existence. I don't say life because, as you have said, we are dead. A core is also where new ghosts are born.”

“I got that much. Get to the part that involves Dan being my son, and ten years from now.”

“Patience. I'm old, we take our time getting to the point.” Clockwork, a wizened old man, turned to Danny and gave him a toothless smile. “Core merging begins with two ghosts having human sex. This arouses both ghosts, activating their cores and preparing them for the merging.” Clockwork opened another portal, this time to the hallway outside Danny's classroom, where Jazz was dropped off. “The merging happens when one ghost becomes intangible during sex, and phases into the other ghost. This puts both cores in close proximity, and in their activated state, causes them to seek each other out. The cores move together, their energies clashing and blending and mingling together. The feelings this can create are extremely intense, Danny, and it is common for one or both to faint for several seconds at some point during this period.

“Now comes the full merge, where both cores become one. This is where the energies are completely blended, and it is both most pleasuring and most dangerous. SkulkTech is proof of the danger of a complete merging; if both ghosts fail to separate, then the two cores become one in all senses of the word. They are two ghosts, bound together forever and always. Again, I remind you of SkulkTech. There does exist a way to separate from a complete merging, but it is far too dangerous to even consider.” A new portal opened, and this time Danny found himself in the classroom, all of his classmates seated and about to begin the C.A.T. “However, when a typical merging is successful, the two ghosts then separate, the intangible ghost pulling away. The blended core energies remain with the ghost that was... penetrated, for lack of a better term. These energies gather together and form the beginnings of a new ghost core. The core feeds off of the mother's energies – and I use the term mother for lack of a better term, once again – as well as the father's core energies. Yes, Danny, both parents continue to nurture the fledgling core with both of their core energies. After the core is sufficiently nurtured, the new, baby ghost is birthed.”

“Oh, god, please tell me you're not about to explain the birthing process, because I already know how babies are–” Danny was cut off by another smack to the head with Clockwork's staff.

“No, Danny. You know how  _human_ babies are birthed _._ Not ghost babies.” Danny's friends – and Lancer – were sent to their intended places, and Danny was left standing beside his desk. “Ghost babies are birthed much like how you duplicate yourself. While the process appears painful, it is largely painless. Think of it like taking off your backpack after a long day at school – the birth is like a weight is removed, and you can do everything as you could before the backpack was there.” 

“Okay...” Danny leaned against his desk. “And Dan... he was born from core merging?”

“Yes.” Clockwork nodded. “Yours and Plasmius's.”

“...what.”

“You were to be in a dark place after losing your family, Danny. You did dark things that you later regretted. That regret fed into Dan, and when you birthed him, it killed you. Your core was fading, and Dan was starving. Vlad had the gauntlets to remove Dan, but didn't expect to have his own ghost half removed and consumed. Dan was starved and was full of your anger at the world, both human and ghost. He destroyed both in an attempt to fill that emptiness you left in him.” Clockwork paused, looking around the room, at the students frozen in place. “His creation was why it was so important that you learn about core merging. It was why I was tasked with intervening, to say all this to you.”

“So... what now?” Danny moved to sit in his seat. “I mean, now that I know, it's a certainty that Dan's never gonna exist.”

“Now?” Clockwork waved at the room. “Now, you give yourself a second chance. After all, you've done the same for so many others. I've turned back the clock. Your graduating class is about to take the C.A.T., and everything that occurred in the past two hours has been undone. All that is left, is for you to forge your own path. And remember, do not engage in core merging until you are ready to raise a child of your own.” A portal opened behind Clockwork, and he floated through it. “Good luck on that test, young man.”

 


End file.
